


wedding bell blues

by fatherwon



Category: Monsta X (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Domestic, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Established Relationship, Fluff and Angst, How To Mess Up A Proposal 101: a guidebook by lee hoseok, Inspired by FRIENDS, M/M, Marriage Proposal, a dumb fool in love, also Poor Attempt At Humour, hoseok is literally just the dumbest, this is a whole rollercoaster
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-21
Updated: 2017-11-21
Packaged: 2019-02-05 04:12:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,938
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12786717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatherwon/pseuds/fatherwon
Summary: hoseok's plan to propose to kihyun whisks together the perfect recipe for disaster.





	wedding bell blues

**Author's Note:**

> i don’t know how this turned out to be over 14k words its just a proposal fic like how do you even ??
> 
> ps: i take pride in the fact that this is like 29373% based on friends (tv) inspo !!!!!! kiho is literally the mondler of mx ;W;

   “I THOUGHT I’D TAKE him out to beach - you know, the one where we had our first kiss - and we’ll, like, take a romantic walk as the sun sets, hand in hand and whatnot, and then I’ll get down on one knee and propose.”

   “Okay, but what if you drop the ring, and it gets swept away by the waves, or something? Kihyun’s gonna think you’re some fabulous kind of moron and you'll get dumped. You'll end up living on our couch forever, and you’ll be alone and pathetic,” Minhyuk pipes, meditatively sipping at the steaming mug of tea clasped in his hands. Now that he thinks about it, Hoseok has never seen this man without some type of beverage in hand (more than anything, it’s almost always alcohol).    
  
   “Why do I even  _ try _ with you?”   
  
   Minhyuk winces as the boiling liquid mildly burns his mouth. “Maybe Kihyun should write that on you after your little failed attempt at proposing to him.”   
  
   Sipping at his tea, Minhyuk looks hopefully at Hoseok, his eyes wide, like the moon, and sparkling, his lips pressed tightly together. "Can I have the ring after he says  _ no _ ?"   
  
   Hoseok’s eyes are comically wide with hurt, his jaw dropped low. “He's not going to say no,” he protests, waving his hands around exasperatedly. "What makes you so damn sure I’m going to fuck it up?”   
  
   From the corner of his eye, Hoseok notices Hyungwon shooting his arm up. “Actually,” the latter starts, his voice is husky as ever, traces of last night’s excessive drinking still laced into it. He looks like death, and the way he’s sprawled hopelessly across the couch doesn’t help his image much. “I’m with Min on this one - you’re gonna fuck  _ something _ up, if not the proposal itself.”   
  
   The eldest out of the three pivots in his seat completely with an over-dramaticized gasp. “What? Why?” he exclaims in protest. “I’m a twenty-six year old college graduate, I work at a high-profile data configuration-slash-processing company, I analyse a heck-ton of numbers every day, and I write my own cheques, because my assistant is useless. What makes you think I’m so incapable?”   
  
   Hyungwon shrugs, sagging down into the cushioning of the couch a little more, and throwing an arm over his face to shield his eyes from the sunlight that’s seeping into the sitting area - even a night light would be deemed ‘too bright’ by Hyungwon right now, given his current state. “I don’t know, because it’s, well,  _ you _ \- it’s  _ you _ and  _ Kihyun _ , and when you’re with Kihyun, you’re always a little stupider. Than normal, that is.”   
  
   Hoseok reaches over the back of his chair, fingers fumbling to grab hold of the nearest cereal box he can see (Minhyuk’s obsession with purchasing every cereal available at their local store is uncanny, but it poses an advantage in Hoseok’s case this time round).   
  
   He hurls the box over at Hyungwon, and Minhyuk lets out a strangled gasp (not because Hoseok attacked his unbelievably hungover boyfriend, but because his favourite honey-oat clusters are lying tossed on the floor, and some pieces of the cereal have spilled out of the box, too). “You’re one to talk, considering you look like you emptied out every bar in Seoul.”   
  
   Minhyuk tries to - quite unsuccessfully - hide his growing smile behind his mug.   
  
   “Excuse me,” Hyungwon begins with a frown - it doesn’t cash out, and he looks more like a grumpy grandpa than an intimidating force to be reckoned with. “But having lunch with your boyfriend’s parents is never fun, especially when you try complimenting said boyfriend's mother, but all you can say is,  _ ‘that sweater looks so good and tight on you’ _ .”   
  
   Minhyuk snorts against the rim of his mug, and Hoseok is, instead of smirking tightly, full-on grinning now. “So you thought you’d make the afternoon Irish with a little alcohol to spice things up?” the latter teases.   
  
   “I drank  _ after _ lunch,” the younger boy grumbles. “It was a bad day, okay?”   
  
   Hoseok is sure it probably was.   
  
   Minhyuk’s parents never really seemed to warm up to Hyungwon, and it’s not like his relationship with their precious son was anything new. Hyungwon and Minhyuk had known each other for a little longer than Hoseok and Kihyun (their introduction into each other’s lives dates back to about seven years ago), and they’d been dating for a little more than a year now.   
  
   Hoseok knows the level of anxiety Hyungwon deals with whenever Minhyuk says, “hey, Wonnie, don't freak out on me, but my parents are in town, and they kinda wanna have dinner with us”. Every time, Hyungwon tries a little harder to impress his boyfriend’s parents, only to end up taking comfort in the gentle touches of Minhyuk’s hand on his thigh, or the soft presses he’d give Hyungwon’s hand just to say, ‘ _ it’s okay, thanks for trying. I love you _ ’.   
  
   So Hoseok lays off him, and just flashes him a sympathetic look, wrapped up with an apologetic smile. Hyungwon is his best friend, having helped him through thick and thin of pretty much everything, and the last thing Hoseok wants is for Hyungwon to feel like he didn’t have him on his side.   
  
   “What are you going to do about the proposal then?” Minhyuk asks to fill up the silence stretching between the three.   
  
   He’s sitting cross-legged on the floor, delicate fingers fondly petting strands of Hyungwon’s messy, tangle-induced hair. Hoseok doesn’t know when the younger male had gotten up, and padded all the way over to the sitting area, where his boyfriend is currently dealing with his hangover (currently, to no avail).    
  
   “I’ve already asked Kihyunnie if he’d go to the beach with me today. He finally got a day off, and I thought I’d swoop in and seize the day.” A glint of mirth flashes in Hoseok’s eyes at the prospect of taking Kihyun’s soft, soft hand in his, getting down on one knee, and asking him to spend the rest of his life with him. He'd been rehearsing for this moment since early december, and he still feels giddy at the mere thought of it.   
  
   His heart swells in his chest just imagining the engagement ring sitting prettily on Kihyun’s finger. Hoseok had based his purchase on the thought that a tiffany-cut screamed ‘Kihyun’ (read: 'Kihyun' with around fifty sparkly stars and exclamation marks) the most.   
  
   Minhyuk had given him the hardest time for, firstly, buying the ring near the end of september (“Why would you buy it so early?” he had said), and secondly, Hoseok got yelled at for not letting Minhyuk in on his little plan, because the unspoken rule between all four of them had been, according to Minhyuk, “I don’t care when or who it is, I must be included in all wedding plans - that is, if any of you ever marry - and I get to be the wedding planner, maid of honour, best man, or whomever it is that plans the actual wedding”.   
  
   But Hoseok really couldn’t care less, not with all the excitement bubbling up inside him. He had lost so many nights to endless smiling and giddiness after the big purchase, because he was going to propose to Kihyun, and that made him so, so happy.   
  
   He still remembers the first time he’d blurted it out to his friends. He was insanely drunk, tracing the rim of his half-filled glass with his index, a sloppy grin plastered on his face. That’s when he said, “I wanna marry him; I wanna marry Kihyun,” and Hyungwon almost spat his drink out all over him, because  _ Hoseok _ wanted to marry someone (Minhyuk and Hyungwon always knew how Hoseok felt about marriage, given all the shit he went through with his parents’ divorce).   
  
   That was back on new years, though, almost a month prior.   
  
   “Speaking of which.” Hoseok glances up at the wall clock perched above the fridge, reaching for his set of house keys, which he’d thrown onto the table upon entering, and his phone. “I need to start getting ready, and Kihyun’s probably back from Hyunwoo’s by now.”   
  
   He picks himself up off the chair, striding over to the door to step out. Hoseok’s work is cut out for him when Changkyun swings the door open and lets himself in, a backpack slung over his right shoulder, two thick textbooks clutched in hand, and a single earphone shoved into his ear.   
  
   “What’s got him running off?” he asks Minhyuk after Hoseok has brushed past him, because the older man hasn’t even bothered to say  _ hi _ , he just gave Changkyun an acknowledging look, and a tiny smile. Hoseok would usually give Changkyun’s hair a quick tousle, call him ‘sport’, ask about how his day was, and how his psyche classes are going, too, but he doesn’t this time, which is more than puzzling.   
  
   “He’s getting dumped tonight,” Minhyuk chirps, and Hyungwon smiles a little from underneath the frayed sleeve of his sweater.   
  
   They can hear Hoseok laugh from down the hall, tossing a quick, ‘shut up,’ over his shoulder. It's almost drowned out by the sound of his heavy winter boots clicking against the floor.   
  
  
  


* * *

  
  
  
   HOSEOK COMES HOME TO find a slightly frazzled-looking Kihyun rushing out of their bedroom, hopping on his left foot whilst pulling a heavy, thick-soled combat boot on the other. He hasn’t even looped his scarf properly, so it’s just hanging around his neck, bouncing a little with every jump-ridden step he takes.   
  
   “Kiki?” Hoseok inquires, gently closing the door behind him, and shuffling over to his haste-ridden boyfriend. “That was quick, I thought you’d take another hour to get ready since you just got back.”   
  
   Kihyun is now standing in front of a medium-sized wall mirror - the one he’d insisted on hanging up in the sitting area, because,  _ “Hoseok, it’s so pretty,” _ \- tugging and fiddling with the woollen material of his scarf. “I’m sorry, baby, my mom just called - it’s kind of an emergency.”   
  
   The older of the two saunters closer, situating himself right behind Kihyun to help him out with his scarf - he looks like he could use some assistance. Kihyun has never been so great at dealing with anything, really, in time-sensitive situations. “Is everything okay?”   
  
   Once Hoseok is done prepping up the article wrapped around Kihyun’s neck, satisfied with his handiwork, he hooks a fingers in one of Kihyun’s belt loops and turns the younger boy around, so Hoseok can lovingly card his fingers through Kihyun’s soft, tawny-brown tufts.   
  
   Kihyun leans up just enough to press a quick kiss to Hoseok’s lips. It’s one of those sweet, full-of-love kisses they’d share during a busy day just to remind each other that they're still very much here.

“Well, she’s getting all her furniture reupholstered, and she’s at the fabric store right now, having a bit of a crisis. You know how she is.”   
  
   Hoseok lets out a small whine, letting his shoulders slump a bit, and Kihyun can’t help but chuckle softly at his neediness, taking the opportunity to kiss Hoseok’s pouted lips again. “But, Kiki, this is your first day off in forever.”   
  
   “I know, baby,” Kihyun says, brushing pieces of Hoseok's fringe away from his eyes. “I'll make it up to you, I promise.” 

  
   With a small smile, takes Hoseok’s gorgeous face in his hands in one heartwarming gesture, pressing down softly onto his cheeks with his thumbs, and kisses Hoseok again for the third time. It’s slow and chaste, but at the same time so affectionate, and so, so lovely. Hoseok feels like he’s going to melt, but to be fair, all of Kihyun’s kisses make him melt - Kihyun, in general, makes him melt.   
  
   Sadly enough for Hoseok, it ends just as quickly as it started, and by the time he leans into the kiss, wanting to wind his arms around Kihyun’s slim waist to pull him closer, maybe even nudge him closer to the wall so he can press him up against it, Kihyun has already drawn away, earning another whine from the older boy.   
  
   Kihyun laughs a little more loudly this time, looking at Hoseok in the most admirable way, mixed in with a little guilt, but it’s mostly just plain adoration, because Hoseok is the sweetest, most adorable being Kihyun has ever come across shuffles over to the kitchen, grabbing his keys off the countertop, Hoseok trailing behind him like a sad, sad puppy.   
  
   He pats around over his jeans, checking to see if he’s tucked his wallet and phone into at least one of his pockets. Hoseok takes the opportunity wrap an arm around Kihyun’s waist, tugging him closer to press a few lingering kisses to his cheek, Kihyun’s skin so impossibly soft under his lips.   
  
   “Drive safe.” He steals yet another kiss - it’s a targeted a little lower, and closer to the edge of Kihyun’s lips - before letting go of him. “And tell your mom I said  _ hi _ .”   
  
   Kihyun nods, a big smile on his face. He’s always grinning like a happy elf whenever he’s with Hoseok - they’ve all noticed - and it’s really so sweet how jubilant he looks around his boyfriend, perfectly showcasing the loving dynamics of their relationship.   
  
   “Don’t skip dinner. There’s leftovers in the fridge and I shoved some pasta in Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s fridge yesterday, too," he calls over his shoulder before slipping out the door.   
  
    When Hoseok is a hundred-percent sure Kihyun has made it down at least three flights of stairs (it’s not so difficult to tell, thanks to those insanely heavy boots of his - Hoseok doesn’t know how he even manages to walk in them), he plummets onto the couch, feeling miserably defeated.   
  
   Throwing his head back over backrest of the piece of furniture, he lets out a groan, the sound rumbling in his chest. he feels, well, the opposite of elated - an emotion he was brimming with for the past several months until Kihyun cancelled today’s plans.   
  
    After a myriad of endless rehearsals, Hoseok wants to pull his hair out. He’d practised his little speech in front of the bathroom mirror whenever Kihyun was working late at the hospital. In addition, he’d gotten Minhyuk to hear it all out, too, and he even did the whole ‘getting-down-on-one-knee’ move, because he just wanted everything to be perfect (because Kihyun is perfect, and he deserves nothing short of a perfect proposal).   
  
    He pats around over the couch cushions, slipping his hand between two of them and fishing out a tiny, blue velvet box. Popping it open, he stares at the ring so hopelessly. The piece of jewellry just glints back at him, the late-afternoon sunlight bouncing off it in complete and utter mockery.   
  
    Hoseok can only wonder when he’d get the chance to have Kihyun all to himself again, so he can finally, after months and months of pining over the idea, ask his boyfriend to marry him.   
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
    DURING KIHYUN'S FREQUENT ABSENCES, Hoseok would always take it upon himself to keep busy, just to keep his mind away from the piercing silence that lingered in the apartment more often than not.   
  
    This time, he figured he’d clean up a bit. He thought it would be a nice surprise for Kihyun, as he’s always the one cleaning up after both of them. He scrubbed the the countertops, sorted out their DVD drawer (Hoseok actually purchased movies he really liked from time to time), washed all the dishes piled up in the sink, folded up the recently-washed laundry, and even changed their bedding while he was at it.   
  
    He always feels good after having done something for Kihyun, as Kihyun’s usually the one trying his level best to make their lives a little easier and less chaotic, despite being the one, between the two of them, who’s away from home for prolonged periods of time.   
  
    Though, Hoseok he feels the happiest about having decided to go throw out the trash (only because he was able to catch Kihyun in the hall on his way up).   
  
    “You’re back,” Hoseok says as he moves closer to envelop Kihyun in the softest, gentlest hug, faring as a warm blanket around Kihyun’s frail form, and Kihyun yelps a little at the sudden contact.    
  
    The younger boy giggles softly before pressing a kiss to Hoseok’s shoulder - he’s too worn out to tip his head up and lean in to kiss his lips. “I just went out to help my mother pick out fabric for her furniture, Hoseok. You're acting like I just got back from a war."    
  
    Hoseok wraps his arms around Kihyun’s waist, tightening his grip around his torso. Kihyun doesn’t mind, in fact, he rather relishes in the feeling of Hoseok’s strong, thick arms folded around him, filling him with a warm feeling of safety and comfort.    
  
    Though, the younger instantly regrets having said what he did, because he knows Hoseok is probably conjuring up some sappy line to have Kihyun morphing into a perpetual fumbly mess of stuttering and rosy cheeks, and that’s exactly what happens.   
  
    “Yeah, but even the smallest amount of time away from you feels like a lifetime,” Hoseok muses, kissing the top Kihyun’s head, his forehead, the tip of his nose, and finally his now-cherry, warm cheeks, all the while inhaling whiffs of his sweet scent. He smells of freshly-husked coconuts, mixed in with the tiniest smidge of honey, and it's enough to have Hoseok's head spinning.   
  
    “Alright, you sap. You win,” Kihyun giggles yet again, still a little red in the face from Hoseok’s remark, his voice sounding all breathy through the soft laughter.   
  
    Hoseok can’t help but grin like an idiot at Kihyun’s teasing. He knows Kihyun likes to give him a hard time for being so soft and true to his emotions, but Hoseok knows he loves his sensitivity, even if he won’t admit it.   
  
    Recovering from his little laughing fit, Kihyun wriggles out of Hoseok’s grasp just enough to look at him, eyes hooded and teeth grazing over his bottom lip. Hoseok knows Kihyun all too well to know where this is going, and he finds himself taking increasing interest as his gaze flickers between Kihyun’s eyes and his pair of luscious, pink lips.   
  
    “But I was thinking,” Kihyun begins, his voice a soft, luring whisper, trailing his index finger along Hoseok’s collarbone and peering up at him through thick eyelashes. It’s a gentle touch - hardly a touch at all, really, just a brush of skin against skin - but it has Hoseok’s nerves tingling with excitement nonetheless. “Since we couldn’t go to the beach today, and I know you really wanted to go, maybe we could-”   
  
    It’s right then, when Kihyun’s pretty lips are ghosting right over Hoseok’s slightly parted ones, that Minhyuk’s high-pitched squealing interrupts them. Hoseok really wanted to drown himself for not realizing soon enough that they were parked right outside Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s apartment.   
  
    It’s really times like this, though, where both, Hoseok and Kihyun alike, wonder what drove them into living right next to the ecstatic male, or even befriending him, for that matter.   
  
    “Oh, my God,” Minhyuk wails once again, shuffling over to Kihyun and Hoseok, who are still wrapped around each other, eyes wide, like cherry pies, at Minhyuk’s piercing enthusiasm. He pries Kihyun’s hand off Hoseok’s chest, pressing it softly as he scans over his fingers, flipping his hand over at least twice.   
  
    “Where is it? Didn’t he give it to you?” Minhyuk pegs on, nose scrunched up in utter confusion at finding Kihyun’s hand bare (in the sense that he isn’t really wearing his engagement ring).   
  
    He looks over at the latter, who looks just as bewildered, and then at Hoseok, who just glares at him, shaking his head timidly, careful not to let Kihyun take notice, because he’s just an inch or so away, and he really doesn’t want to arouse any more suspicions in him than Minhyuk already has.   
  
    Minhyuk gives Kihyun a nervous smile. “I mean,” he begins, his voice cracking a little at the amount of care he’s trying to put into choosing his words. He doesn’t want Hoseok to strangle him to death for ruining his proposal. “Didn’t he give you a jacket? Because it’s cold out, so,” he looks Kihyun up and down, eyes settling on the black, calf-length coat he's got draped over his shoulders, and lets out a defeated groan. He is so screwed. “You’d need two jackets.”   
  
    Hoseok just gives Kihyun a look, as to say, ‘it’s Minhyuk, and Minhyuk makes no sense anyway’, hoping, and praying, and hoping some more that Kihyun wouldn’t ask any prying questions, and slips his hand down to the small of his lover’s back to gently guide him into Minhyuk’s open apartment.   
  
    Once all three of them are inside, Hoseok helps Kihyun out of his coat, fingers working their way around the sleeves to gently tug the piece of clothing off, carefully hanging it up on the coat rack next to the door.   
  
    Kihyun turns his head a little to softly kiss Hoseok’s lips, mumbling a quiet, "thank you," against his mouth, smiling nice and big as he does so.   
  
    “I’m just gonna quickly go use the bathroom,” he announces, and Hoseok smiles at him weakly, nodding, before he disappears into the tiled enclosure.   
  
    Once he’s heard the door lock click, Hoseok smacks Minhyuk’s arm with the back of his hand, eyebrows knitted together in seething anger. “You almost blew it for me,” he hisses through clenched teeth.   
  
    “How was I supposed to know you didn’t ask him?” Minhyuk hurls back. “What happened anyway? Didn’t you do it?”   
  
    “No,” Hoseok throws himself onto the couch, hunched over his knees with his head in his hands, fingers fastened in his raven tresses. Kihyun always keeps telling him he’ll go bald if he doesn’t stop pulling at his hair like that. “His mom called, she needed help picking out fabric for her furniture.”   
  
    “When are you gonna ask him then?”   
  
    Hoseok opens his mouth to speak, but Kihyun has beat him to it. “Ask whom what?” he inquires, patting his hands dry with a paper towel and tossing it into a nearby dustbin.   
  
    Minhyuk fumbles for words to string together - Hoseok’s piercing glare doesn’t help much. “Um, I just wanted to know when Hoseok is going ask you if you want another jacket.”   
  
    Kihyun’s face contorts into an embodiment of confusion, nose crinkled, eyebrows furrowed and lips pulled into a thin line. “Min,” he starts, settling down onto the armrest of the couch, right next to Hoseok. “Are you okay?”   
  
    “Of course,” the boy in question chirps enthusiastically, nervously drumming his nimble fingers against the marble countertop. “Why wouldn’t I be?”   
  
    “Because you’re acting really out of it,” Kihyun answers in a matter-of-factly way, pushing in a yawn at the end. “More than usual, that is.”   
  
    Minhyuk squints his eyes at the younger boy. “Well, I’m fine, thank you very much,” he retorts, right before tucking himself away into his and Hyungwon’s shared bedroom.   
  
    Hoseok gives his head a shake, not sure how much more of Minhyuk’s sheer carelessness he can take, before looking up at his boyfriend, who’s still sitting perched on the armrest. Kihyun looks absolutely exhausted, shoulders slumped and eyes pearly with sleeplessness, looking at nothing in particular. From up close, Hoseok can make out the dark crescents imprinted under his eyes.   
  
    Even though he looks like a ruffled bear, who’s just come out of hibernation, Hoseok thinks Kihyun still looks like the prettiest being he's has ever witnessed, and he feels so privileged to even be able to look at him, save being able to date him.   
  
    Hoseok fumbles around for Kihyun’s hand, and presses softly onto his tiny fingers before guiding him down onto his lap, letting him take a few seconds to shift around in order to get comfy. When Kihyun shifts around on Hoseok's thighs, his hands draped loosely over Hoseok's shoulders, resembling a small kitten, Hoseok can't help but look at him fondly.    
  
    “You look drained,” Hoseok coos, one hand cupping Kihyun’s cheek and the other rested on his hip. He presses a soft kiss right above his jaw, leaving Kihyun humming in content at the loving gesture.   
  
    “I  _ feel _ drained,” the brunette answers, leaning closer to bury his face in the crook of Hoseok’s neck, breathing in familiar whiffs of Axe bodywash and fabric softener.   
  
    Kihyun’s warm breath fans out over Hoseok’s skin with every exhale, it makes him feel tingly, but also so wonderful all the same. He finds himself carding his fingers through Kihyun’s velvet-like tufts, massaging his scalp softly with the pads of his, albeit calloused, fingers. “You want me to draw you a hot bath? I can throw in some of those cherry bath-salts you like so much.”   
  
    Hoseok swears he feels Kihyun press a kiss right at the junction of his neck and shoulder before nipping at the soft skin gently. “No, that’s okay,” the younger starts, kissing a spot under Hoseok's jaw and snuggling closer into his warmth, clinging to him like a little koala. “I just want to go straight to bed, I’m exhausted.”   
  
    Kihyun receives one last kiss from Hoseok before straightening up, climbing off his lap, and making his way over to the door, grabbing hold of his coat in the process.   
  
    “I’ll be there in a minute, baby,” Hoseok calls softly, and Kihyun just smiles before letting himself out the apartment.   
  
    As if on cue, one of the two bedroom doors creaks open slowly, and out peers Minhyuk, followed by a sleepy-looking Hyungwon, whom the former probably shook awake rather unpleasantly, because he does not look happy.   
  
    “Did he leave?” Minhyuk whispers. He stays in close proximity to the door, just in case Kihyun pops up, and embarks on a marathon of questions, as per usual.   
  
    Hoseok’s face shows no signs of amusement, as he crosses his arms over his chest, leaning back into the cushioning of the couch. “Do you see him anywhere?”   
  
    It’s Minhyuk’s turn to fold his arms now, and he tops it off with a tiny pout. “Okay, I know you’re pissed, but how was I supposed to know you didn’t give Kihyun the ring yet?”   
  
    “You are a pretty bad liar, though, so I don’t really blame Hoseok for being mad,” Hyungwon adds. He’s rubbing at his eyes with balled fists, all the while yawning softly behind Minhyuk, reminding Hoseok of a baby, who’s just been awoken from his sweet slumber, and he almost cracks a smile.   
  
    Minhyuk lets out a strangled gasp, eyes wide and mouth curved into the most perfect ‘o’ shape. “Wonnie, whose side are you on?”   
  
    “My side,” Hoseok is now on his feet, pacing around the length of the living room. “Kihyun probably suspects we’re - well, I’m - up to something now, thanks to you inspecting his hand as if it was a murder weapon. I’m sure he was just too tired to say anything about it.”   
  
    Minhyuk scoffs. “He didn’t look too tired while grinding on you out in the hall.”   
  
    His teasing isn’t responded to with chuckles, or even smiles, just Hoseok’s unamusement, and Hyungwon’s sighing.   
  
    Minhyuk clears his throat.   
  
    “There’s nothing that can’t be fixed,” he adds reassuringly, settling himself down onto the coffee table, Hyungwon taking a seat on the blue ottoman, which is the piece of furniture nearest to the table.   
  
    “And how do I fix this?”   
  
    “Thankfully, Kihyun’s probably not all that curious right now, so just tell him you’re not interested in marriage,” Hyungwon says with a shrug of his shoulders, as if it’s the most obvious answer. “Throw him off completely. It’ll be a good surprise at the end when you pop the big question.”   
  
    Hoseok halts his pacing, and gives Hyungwon an acknowledging look. "That,” he begins, pointing his index at the latter. “That’s a good idea, I like it.”   
  
    Before any more words can be exchanged between the three, Hoseok is rushing out the door, completely ignoring Minhyuk’s protesting (it’s something around the lines of, “no, don’t do that, it’s a terrible idea,”), because he isn’t going to pay any heed to him now, especially after being the one who got his to-be-fiancé all suspicious, or supposedly suspicious.   
  
    Minhyuk smacks his boyfriend’s knee lightly. “Why would you do that? You’re going to get him dumped for sure now.”    
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
    “I’M SORRY.” KIHYUN LOOKS discombobulated as he runs up to Hoseok, who’s sitting comfortably at one of the diner booths, and gives him a quick kiss, settling down into the seat in front of his boyfriend.   
  
    “They asked me to stay back and assist during the stitch up, which they usually don’t, and it took me another twenty minutes to change out of my scrubs, because the nurse filling in for Minhyuk broke down into a sobbing mess - something about her, and how she thinks her husband is cheating,” he explains, looking exasperated, as he drops his face into his hands.   
  
    Hoseok doesn’t stop smiling fondly at Kihyun from across the table. He looks so beautiful, so perfect, and mesmerising under the pink glow of the dimly lit diner, and Hoseok can’t help but wonder how someone could make him feel a hundred different emotions all together.   
  
    When Kihyun is done talking - rambling, more like - Hoseok reaches for his hand to give it a light squeeze, just to say ‘it’s okay, it really is. “Don’t apologise, really. It’s perfectly fine, because you’re here now, and that’s what matters.”   
  
    Kihyun flashes him an apologetic smile, head tilted to the side a little. “I know, but I feel like I’m away from you most of the time, and I really hate being away from you so much. But then the one time I get to have dinner with you in ages, I’m almost half-an-hour late.”   
  
    “I don’t mind. It’s your job - it’s a job you like - and I’m not going to nag you for working hard at something that makes you happy,” Hoseok answers, reaching forward a little more to brush pieces of Kihyun’s wavy, and slightly messy, fringe away from his eyes, noticing traces of worn-down eyeliner still present around the edges of his lashline.   
  
    The latter leans into his boyfriend’s touch, letting Hoseok’s fingertips graze his cheek ever so gently. “You make me happy.”   
  
    Hoseok is only able to give him a big smile, one that’s beaming with mirth, because one of the waiters has walked up to them, and prompted the two to decide on what to order.   
  
    Smiling his usual cheery smile, Kihyun looks up at the male. “I'll have the vanilla shake,” he says, his voice gentle with politeness - Hoseok is gushing, wondering what he did to deserve to have this gem of a human all to himself.   
  
    “With two straws,” the latter adds, not letting his eyes leave Kihyun for a second. When the brunette catches onto his gaze, he grins and inches his foot closer to Hoseok’s under the table, nudging it playfully.   
  
    “Would you like anything to eat?” the waiter presses.   
  
    Kihyun breaks eye contact for just a moment to look at the former again. “Just the drink for now, thank you.”   
  
    Once he walks off, leaving the two to themselves again, Hoseok starts, “I was thinking, and you know what’s kinda off?” Kihyun hums for him to continue, noticeably showing immense interest. “Marriage,” the older finishes.   
  
    Kihyun blinks a few times to run Hoseok’s words over in his head again. He swipes his tongue over his bottom lip before knitting his eyebrows together a little. “Marriage? You think the idea of marriage is-”   
  
    “Unconventional, irrelevant, unnecessary even,” Hoseok interjects, not taking notice of how increasingly pale in the face Kihyun looks after every word he’d just said.   
  
    The younger tugs at the sleeves of his loosely knit sweater, suddenly feeling a little colder, his fingers fiddling around with the soft material, and scrunching it up in sheer anxiousness. “But why? Don’t you think it’s kind of nice to have one person for the rest of your life - a person who really, truly loves and appreciates you?"   
  
    Hoseok shrugs, looking seemingly nonchalant as ever, as if this is nothing. It’s beginning to irk Kihyun a little, unbeknownst to Hoseok, of course. For someone who professes in configuring, processing and analysing heaps of numbers on a daily basis, he sure isn’t good at taking notice of things. “It seems unreal to me, I guess, like, could you really love someone for so long? I don’t think romance even lasts for more than a few years at most; plus, why would anyone ever want to get married anyway?”   
  
    “To show how much someone means to you? To celebrate your love with the people you care about?” Kihyun is sitting right at the edge of his seat now. “I could think of a million reasons why people would want to get married.”   
  
    “But take animals, for example,” Hoseok begins, and Kihyun almost chokes. “They don’t have one person they’re promised to. They don’t commit; they probably have a hundred different partners in a lifetime.”   
  
    There’s a different type of emotion clouding Kihyun’s eyes now, and it’s definitely not confusion, or anything of the sort - it could identify as frustration, but Hoseok really can’t piece together the puzzle right now. “Are you seriously telling me you have no sense of commitment, or that you don’t like the idea of committing? After more than three years of dating you, and four years of knowing you as a friend, Hoseok, are you telling me that you don’t feel any sense of loyalty to me?”   
  
    Hoseok scrunches up a napkin in his hand, picking and tearing at it meditatively. “I just don’t see me getting married to anyone, okay?”   
  
    Up until now, Hoseok has been completely serene, because God knows he doesn’t mean anything he’d just said. He loves Kihyun, more than anything in the world, and he’d do just about anything for him.   
  
    But then Kihyun is scrambling to his feet, grabbing his jacket off the booth chair in the process, and Hoseok can feel his heart drop down to his feet as he watches his boyfriend stand up. Hoseok can think of a million things to say to stop him, but during situations like this, his brain tends to work a little faster than he can process in time to simultaneously speak out loud.   
  
    “I think you can take care of the cheque tonight,” Kihyun says, looking down at the floor, his feet, hands, the wall behind Hoseok - anywhere but Hoseok’s eyes, or just him in general - and by the time Hoseok realises he’s screwed up big time, it’s already a little too late.   
  
_     ‘oh, God, no’, _ is all he can think as he helplessly watches Kihyun walk out the diner, one hand gripping his hair, and the other rested on his hip in defeat.   
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
    THE SPOON CLATTERS DOWN to the bottom of the teapot, alternatively scattering a generous amount of tea leaves all over the floor. Minhyuk is fortunate enough to not have been pouring hot water into the ceramic instead. “You did  _ what _ ?”   
  
    Even while sitting curled up all the way in the small window seat at the far end of the living room, Hoseok still feels a little compromised by the (usually) bubbly male, who is - or was, at least - preparing a pot of jasmine tea in the kitchen.   
  
    Hoseok fumbles for words to say - nothing could make any of this better, really. “I-”   
  
    “You let him  _ go _ ?” Minhyuk reiterates Hoseok’s earlier statement with a disapproving shake of his head, leaning back against the countertop, the fingers of his right hand pressing down on his temples. “You let your boyfriend, and to-be-fiancé, walk out just like that?”   
  
    Now that he’s heard someone else say it, Hoseok does feel a little unreasonable, and like a bit of a jerk. not that he didn’t know it before, it just seems worse having heard it from someone else’s lips.   
  
    “Maybe,” he answers quietly, pretty much just mutely mouthing out the syllables, all the while fiddling nervously with his fingers. Minhyuk is only able to assume what he said, because there’s no denying what he’d done.   
  
    There’s a beat of silence, wherein Minhyuk just stares at the older boy blankly for a couple of seconds with his hands crossed over his chest, brows furrowed and mouth slightly open, as if he has just been presented the most ridiculous looking math equation, one that he had no hopes of solving.   
  
    “What the hell did you say to him?” he says finally, although, it’s more of a high-pitched screech than anything else. Hoseok doesn’t blame him (he wonders why Minhyuk hasn’t hurled a shoe at him by now).   
  
    Hoseok is up on his feet now, hissing sharply at the pain that sears through his head upon standing up too fast - his wincing doesn’t go unnoticed by Minhyuk. “I don’t remember exactly,” he starts, clamping a hand around his eyes in slight discomfort. he groans softly into his palm. “I was in shambles when I got home, because he wasn’t there, and I broke down-“   
  
    “You drank till you passed out didn’t you?” Minhyuk interjects, his voice seemingly hostile to any sort of emotion.   
  
    In all honesty, the accusation isn’t completely false.   
  
    Hoseok had come home to an empty apartment after the whole fiasco that night, right after Kihyun had walked out of the diner. He’d tried to stay up, busied himself with cleaning up the sitting area, and their bedroom, which Kihyun had left a mess with all the scattered clothing carelessly tossed around the room (Hoseok had assumed Kihyun probably misplaced his lab coat again). All his actions had been accompanied by a glass of wine (white, because Kihyun hates red wine), and he’d lost count after he downed an entire bottle and a half.   
  
    He tried watching tv, but couldn’t really cope with seeing cute, happy couples walking around town, hand in hand, sharing jackets, and stealing quick kisses from each other when the other isn’t looking - not when it was past one in the morning, and Kihyun still hadn’t home.   
  
    Hoseok tried, he really did, but the overindulged-in alcohol didn’t help much, and after another thirty minutes, he ended up drifting off to sleep, but he distinctly remembers hearing their apartment door creak open, followed by the familiar sound of carefully-paced footsteps. Kihyun probably resented Hoseok at the time, but he still took care not to wake him up, and Hoseok’s heart still swells at the thought (with guilt, for the most part).   
  
    He can’t recall what happened after, but he does remember waking up to a vacant apartment once again, wrapped up in a fluffy, blue blanket. It was tucked around him with care, so he wouldn’t roll out of it while sleeping, and it doesn’t make him feel any better knowing Kihyun did that for him.   
  
    All he was able to take comfort in was knowing Kihyun did indeed come home and it wasn’t just all the alcohol in his system, because there was a fluorescent pink sticky note pressed onto the fridge, adorned with Kihyun’s cursive writing.  _ ‘takeout’s in the fridge, buy groceries,’ _ is all that it said. Hoseok could only smile weakly at the daunting absence of that tiny heart Kihyun always drew next to his messages - he did to seem a little less bossy, and to add more sentiment. The note appeared so devoid of emotion this time round.   
  
    Hoseok drops his hand back down to his side, darting his eyes from one corner of the room to the other, looking like a deer caught in headlights. He doesn’t want Minhyuk’s nagging to bump up a level after finding out he pretty much drowned himself in every bottle of wine tucked away in their liquor cabinet.   
  
    “No,” Hoseok manages to squeak with a quick clearing of his throat, but it hardly comes off as convincing.   
  
    He’s answered to with a loud sigh. Minhyuk isn’t even trying to mask over his annoyance right now; it’s just something about Hoseok when it comes to dealing with Kihyun that drives him insane. Minhyuk doesn’t know what it is himself that throws him over the edge, but generally speaking, he knows he’s not really the irritable type.   
  
    It used to be all fun and games at the start when Hoseok and Kihyun had just started dating, and Kihyun would always get so flustered whenever Hoseok held his hand, kissed his cheek, or even spoke to him in public. Minhyuk had his share of entertainment back then, teasing them about pretty much everything, and whatnot.   
  
    However, after Hoseok started talking about marriage, no matter how enthralled Minhyuk was initially, it all just crumbled down into this mess that Hoseok couldn’t clean up on his own.   
  
    Not that Minhyuk minds. He’s Kihyun’s best friend, and Hoseok’s, too, and he’s ready to cross oceans to help them untangle whatever web of hurdles they’re caught in, but there’s no denying the fact that Hoseok can be a complete dunce when it comes to Kihyun.   
  
    Grumbling under his breath, Minhyuk takes the kettle off the one of the burners, pouring a steady stream of hot, steaming water into a blue mug, squeezing in a little bit of lemon before shoving the piece of crockery in Hoseok’s face. “Drink this.”   
  
    The older boy sniffs it first, regardless of the fact that he’d just seen Minhyuk prep the drink less than five seconds ago. It’s just a precaution; Minhyuk’s concoctions, no matter how normal in-the-making they seem, can turn out to be either a gift from heaven, or just plain poison. There’s no in between, and Hoseok doesn’t understand how Hyungwon or Changkyun can live safely with the said boy.   
  
    All Minhyuk can do is roll his eyes as Hoseok takes, after a great amount of observation, a few tentative sips of the boiling hot beverage, wincing as soon as it makes contact with his mouth.   
  
    Minhyuk then gestures to the kitchen table, and Hoseok saunters over, seeming a little hesitant at first, but he soon settles down into a chair in front of the younger.   
  
    “Now,” Minhyuk starts, pulling his knees up to his chest, and propping his feet on the edge of the chair. "What exactly did you say to Kihyunnie?”   
  
    “Something about how I think marriage is irrelevant,” Hoseok answers, fingers tightly gripping the mug in his hands. He keeps his eyes fixed on the shadow it casts onto the table, because he physically can’t bring himself to look Minhyuk in the eyes. “And then I mentioned animals - how they have a hundred different mates, and don’t commit.”   
  
    There’s another beat of silence, this one a little more hostile than the last, and Hoseok can just about feel Minhyuk glaring two big holes into his skull.   
  
    Hoseok does possess a polished knack for overdoing whatever he does, and while he excels in making grand, romantic gestures that probably require going a little overboard, the situation at hand really didn’t need so much exaggeration.   
  
    Unfortunately, he only came to realise that when Kihyun stood up to leave, and all Minhyuk can think of presently is snatching the mug out of Hoseok’s hands, and spilling the steaming hot water on him.   
  
    Minhyuk’s pretty brown eyes are comically wide under his furrowed eyebrows. The amount of disbelief painted over his features is unreal, but again, Hoseok doesn’t really blame him. “You literally went up, opened the door for Kihyun and escorted him out in a four-horse carriage, Hoseok.”   
  
    “I’m not saying it was a good move, okay?” Hoseok says defensively, watching the lemon seeds sway from side to side at the bottom of his mug as he shifts it a little in place. “And anyway, I was just doing what you told me to do.”   
  
    “No, no." Minhyuk holds his hand up, palm and fingers outstretched in protest, giving his head a warning shake. “You did what  _ Wonnie _ told you to do. I was completely against this. So when you tell this story to your kids - which I doubt you ever will - I’m the sensible one who always had Kihyunnie’s interest at heart, because I love him - yes, take notes, and learn how to do it right - and you and Wonnie come off as the two devoid-of-emotion jerks.”   
  
    Groaning low in the back of his throat, Hoseok drops his head down onto the table, arms folded under to cushion the blow. “You’re not making this any better.”   
  
    “I’m being nice enough to let you hear the cold, hard truth.” Hoseok doesn’t need to see Minhyuk’s face to be able to tell he’s scowling a little - he can hear it in his voice (it’s a perk that comes along with having known the boy for so long).   
  
    “Whatever,” the older grumbles, his voice sounding muffled and a little staticy through the small dome he’s made with his arms, head and hunched back. “What do I do now?”   
  
    “Apologise,” Minhyuk says it as if it’s obvious enough to be traced onto the sky, or plastered onto his forehead. “You apologise, and apologise, and then apologise some more till he takes you back, because in his eyes, and mine, too, quite frankly, you’re the top contender for ‘asshole of the year’.”   
  
    Hoseok lifts his head up off his arms just a little to glare at Minhyuk - it doesn’t resonate the same effect through his messy fringe, and washed out face that’s still a little puffy from all the excessive drinking. “Thanks for that.”   
  
    He feels a little thankful when he hears the door lock click, because he doesn’t have to listen to Minhyuk’s snide comments anymore, because being grilled by him isn’t doing Hoseok any good whatsoever.   
  
    He looks back over Minhyuk’s shoulder to see Hyungwon walking in, his mouth open wide around a hearty laugh, with Changkyun, also in mid-laughter, gripping tightly at his parka sleeve, his free hand holding onto a brown, paper bag.   
  
    “It's nice to see  _ someone’s _ doing well," Minhyuk teases yet again, eyeing Hoseok at the ‘someone’. Hoseok just growls before dropping his head back down onto his arms.   
  
    Hyungwon looks over at the duo sitting at the table after his laughter dies out, Changkyun still latched onto his arm. “What happened now?”   
  
    Minhyuk sends the tall boy a glare. “ _ You _ happened. For a college-level literature professor, you’re not so good with helping people with their words.”   
  
    The latter looks a little frightened. He’s never liked making Minhyuk angry, because he sure knows how to throw a tantrum. So he just presses his lips together into a thin line, snuggling a little closer to Changkyun, who can only give both his roommates a confused look before padding over to Hoseok, and crouching down next to him, a soothing hand placed gently on his back.   
  
    In retrospect, Changkyun has never really been good with providing emotional respite, but he knows him showing concern has a better effect on all his hyungs than anyone else (probably because he’s the youngest, and therefore gives off a softer, sweeter vibe while comforting someone).   
  
    “Hyung?” his voice is soft, gentle, and so full of care. Hoseok knows Changkyun would probably get a little angsty over his situation with Kihyun if he were to find out (Kihyun is his favourite out of the four, despite the fact that he lives with Hyungwon and Minhyuk). “Is everything okay?”   
  
    Hoseok really doesn’t want Changkyun to come to any sort of knowledge of what he’d said to Kihyun last night, or how Kihyun didn’t come home till really late, and how he’d left just like that in the morning.   
  
    Looking up at the younger, Hoseok gives him a weak, sad smile. “Yeah, Changkyunnie, everything’s fine.”   
  
    Changkyun retracts his hand, tilting his head a little, speculating, calculating. He doesn’t seem to believe Hoseok, and he has no reason to. "It’s Kihyunnie-hyung, isn’t it? Is he mad at you?”   
  
    All Hoseok can do is nod by this point, a little scared, yes, but his skepticism dissolves away when Changkyun stands back up and wraps his arms around Hoseok’s shoulders in a warm, gentle embrace.   
  
    “I'm sure it’ll all be fine,” he says, chin rested atop Hoseok’s head. “He loves you and he knows you love him, too, hyung.”   
  
    Minhyuk can only watch fondly, a tiny smile on his face, as the two snuggle up together, Changkyun wrapped around Hoseok, like a baby cub holding onto his mother, and Hoseok looking like he’s about to burst into tears any second now.   
  
    Hyungwon is standing hunched over the back of Minhyuk’s chair, elbows perched on the backrest, and hands placed on his shoulders, squeezing and pressing softly, as he watches Hoseok grip onto one of Changkyun’s hands, seemingly trying to stifle a sob. Hoseok has always been transparent with his emotions, but he feels most comfortable letting loose around Kihyun and Changkyun.   
  
    “He’ll come around,” the youngest of the four reassures again. It’s almost hardly audible, because he says it so softly. “I know he will.”    
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
    KIHYUN STILL ISN’T HOME when Hoseok gets back. He isn’t standing in the kitchen, his favourite daffodil-yellow apron wrapped around the curves of his waist, chopping up a variety of vegetables with incredible expertise. Hoseok prefers to assume he’s still at the hospital, as it’s still early, about an hour and a half to seven, which is when Kihyun usually gets off his shift, provided nothing else comes up (distraught nurses, dealing with overly-flirty co-workers, or absent staff members, for example).   
  
    Placing three bags of groceries on the countertop, overflowing with greens, different sized bottles, tin cans and about several other items Hoseok just purchased on a whim, he puts all the contents in their respected places. After everything that's happened, be doesn’t want Kihyun to come home, find an assortment of groceries on the kitchen countertop, and get increasingly upset.   
  
    He swears his knees almost buckled under him when he heard the all-too-familiar jingling of keys, followed by the door swinging open. Hoseok almost drops the jar of peanut butter from his hand when he sees Kihyun step in, shutting the door behind him, and shrugging his coat off first before tugging his burgundy-coloured beanie off his head, his hair sticking up in different directions as he did so.   
  
    It's when Kihyun looks up at Hoseok that his resolve finally breaks, and he’s walking over to pull his lover into a hug before he can even stop himself. Kihyun doesn’t react at first, but Hoseok finally feels him loosely wrap his arms around his back.   
  
    The comfort of being able to hold Kihyun again is unmatchable - Hoseok feels giddy, elated even, as if the world has started spinning around him again.   
  
    “I missed you." Hoseok says it so softly that Kihyun almost misses it, even though he’s literally fused together with him.   
  
    The younger boy doesn’t answer, he just grips onto Hoseok’s shoulder a little tighter, clutching onto him as if he’d die otherwise, and Hoseok feels a burst of warmth bloom through his chest at the thought.   
  
    Hoseok draws away just enough to be able to look at Kihyun, letting relief wash over him in gentle, undulating waves, because he’s home, he’s really, truly home. “Do you want something to eat? I can heat something up for you.”   
  
    Kihyun just shakes his head. He doesn’t look Hoseok in the eyes, he doesn’t speak, his face looks monotonous, and it almost feels like he’s punishing Hoseok, but the latter is just all too happy that his boyfriend is back home to worry about that right now.   
  
    He cups Kihyun’s face gently, and presses a lingering kiss to his forehead - the way Kihyun wrinkles his nose, and squeezes his eyes shut upon contact, as if the gesture physically hurt, doesn’t go unnoticed by Hoseok. In fact, he feels his chest constrict at the way Kihyun reacts - before letting go of him, eyeing him helplessly as Kihyun makes his way over to the couch, settling down amongst the crumpled up blankets and sea of throw pillows.   
  
    "I think we need to talk,” Kihyun says finally after stretches of endless silence, and Hoseok feels his legs go limp. ‘We need to talk,’ is never really a good way to start a conversation (all breakups start with ‘we need to talk’).   
  
    Hoseok obliges anyway, fighting off the bilious feeling bubbling inside the pit of his stomach, and takes a seat next to Kihyun. There’s something in his eyes that tells Hoseok not to get too close, and he respects it.   
  
    Kihyun drops his eyes down to his hands, which are clasped together tightly in his lap. “Hoseok, I love you,” he starts. He sounds like he’s trying to reassure Hoseok to justify some type of impulsive decision, making the older boy feel increasingly anxious by the second. “And I want to be with you, but I also don’t expect us to be in the same place all the time, and if you think marriage isn’t for you, or us, I can understand. Or at least, I think I can.”   
  
    Hoseok notices the way Kihyun’s fingers begin picking at the hem of his sweater, pulling at one thread at a time before scrunching up the material in his palm, and starting to fiddle with it again.   
  
    He just nods along to acknowledge Kihyun’s words. He doesn’t answer yet, because he feels like he should wait - Kihyun only showcases his nervous tics when he’s piecing together sentences in his head, or when he’s having trouble conveying his feelings and thoughts to another.   
  
    “I wasn’t thinking clearly last night,” he continues. he’s now resorted to warping the fabric of his sleeves by pulling them over his palms, his knuckles and all the way to his fingertips. “Especially when you said all that stuff, but I thought it over after I left - I took a walk, tried to piece my thoughts together - and I can understand why you wouldn’t be so keen on marriage, because of how your parents were.”   
  
    Kihyun's voice is so impossibly soft and small through it all, and Hoseok swears he heard it crack a little in the middle. He really feels so awful about all he put his boyfriend through.   
  
    “Kihyunnie, I hope you know I’d do anything for you,” Hoseok says in a hushed, low voice, more as reassurement than anything else, as he scoots a bit closer to Kihyun across the expanse of the couch. “And if I have to, I'd be ready to marry you whenever.”   
  
    For the entire time that Kihyun had been home, he hadn’t looked anywhere near Hoseok’s face, because Kihyun didn’t want him to see how puffy and red his eyes were from probably sobbing too much, or how glassy they still are. But he looks at him now, so incredulously, his own eyes, full of hurt, boring deeply into Hoseok’s. “If you  _ have _ to?”   
  
    Hoseok doesn’t understand the connotation of Kihyun’s words, but he drawls on anyway, “if it’s what you want, yeah, I'll do it - I'll do anything.”   
  
    Kihyun scoffs, tearing his gaze away from Hoseok’s face. “But you wouldn’t marry me because you want to?” he asserts, sounding a little irked now more than hurt or wounded. “You’d rather do it because you have to?”   
  
_  ‘Oh, God, not again,’ _ is all that flashes through Hoseok’s mind upon Kihyun’s outburst. “What? No, Kihyunnie-”   
  
    Kihyun is up on his feet now, eyes quivering in place as they begin to brim with a new batch of tears. Hoseok feels the urge to reach out and grab him, wrapping Kihyun up in his arms and cradling his face to spill everything to him. Hoseok wants to tell Kihyun how it’s - ‘it’ being everything - all just one big mistake, and that he never meant any of whatever he said, but he doesn’t.   
  
    He doesn’t know why it’s so hard, telling Kihyun he loves him so much, so much that it’s beyond stupid.   
  
    “Because if that’s what you think when you see us together in the future, I don’t think I can-” Kihyun clamps a hand around his mouth to try and hold in a sob, but all it does is muffle the sound, and Hoseok’s heart breaks a little. “I don’t think I can spend the rest of my life with someone who doesn’t want to spend it with me,” he finishes after taking a few deep breaths to compose himself.   
  
    Hoseok feels his heart drop down to his stomach. He hates seeing Kihyun cry, but he despises being the one to make him cry even more. “Wait, no, Kihyunnie, that’s not what I meant.” He moves closer to Kihyun, trying to close up the space between them, but the younger reels away.   
  
    “What did you mean then?” Kihyun’s expression is molded into a mix of different emotions - some of which Hoseok can’t even identify. More than anything, he looks hopeful, wanting to receive some sort of explanation from Hoseok that would make it all okay.   
  
    He doesn’t get one - Hoseok is at a loss for words, mostly because he can just about feel his throat clamping shut around anything he tries to say. He doesn’t know how to say anything to Kihyun to make him feel better, even though this is the part he’s good at. Even though he’s always been the one making grand, romantic gestures, and he’s always been so careful and crafty with his words, but it feels like his whole body is just outrightly refusing to let him speak.   
  
   Kihyun only smiles wryly at the silence, his face streaked with fresh, hot tears and lips pulled into a frown. he’s nibbling precariously at his bottom lip, as he walks up to the door. “That’s what I thought.”   
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
   IT’S FOUR IN THE morning when Hoseok wakes up, a small gasp escaping his lips. He’s a little surprised to find himself on the couch, limbs messily sprawled out over the piece of furniture, Kihyun’s favourite nike hoodie gripped between his fingers, but then it all comes back to him - Kihyun had stormed out, and he tried waiting up for him (it obviously didn’t work).   
  
    Hoseok presses down on his forehead with his thumb and index. He can’t believe how ridiculously stupid he’d been to let this happen for the second time now — if Minhyuk wanted, Hoseok would be more than happy to let himself be stabbed to death with a spatula by him.   
  
    The first thing he can think of is calling Kihyun. He had tried the whole ‘give-him-space’ thing, but it’s four am, and Kihyun still isn’t home — Hoseok doesn’t have the capacity for consideration right now, especially not when he has five hours of couch on him.   
  
    He fumbles around with his phone for a while, mostly to tame the insane level of brightness it shines into his eyes, tapping on Kihyun’s name (it’s saved as (‘Kiki’ with a dozen different heart emojis), before pressing it to his ear, tentatively nibbling at the pad of his thumb, and tapping his foot, as he waits. It rings five times, and there’s a sizzle of static for just a second before the line goes dead - Kihyun had picked up, and hung up right then.   
  
    The next thing Hoseok knows, he’s rushing out his apartment and pounding at Minhyuk’s door before he can even stop and think to himself. He couldn’t care less about plummeting into the coffee table in the process; he probably jacked up his knee, too, but all he can think of right now is Kihyun, and how Kihyun isn’t at home when it’s four in the morning.   
  
    “Hoseok,” Minhyuk starts as soon as he opens the door, his hair a tumble of messy waves and eyes circled with half-moons of sleeplessness. Overall, he does not look happy to be shook out of his peaceful state of slumber so fucking early in the morning. “What the fuck are you-“   
  
    Hoseok just brushes past him and into his apartment. “Kihyun?” he calls, knowing very well that he’s probably knocked any remnants of sleep away from Hyungwon and Changkyun, too, by now. Though, they still haven’t poured out into the sitting area, much to Hoseok’s surprise.   
  
   “Hoseok, what are you doing?” Minhyuk inquires, locking the door behind him, arms wrapped around himself, as he walks up to the older boy. “It’s four in the fucking morning, why would Kihyun-” Je cuts himself off with a gasp. “Oh, no, did he-”   
  
    Hoseok is almost laughing wryly at the situation he’s grown himself into. “Oh, yes. I tried apologising, but I fucked up again, and he stormed out,” he huffs. “He stormed out for the second time in two days, Minhyuk.”   
  
    Minhyuk places a soothing hand on Hoseok’s arm, pressing down onto his cotton-clad skin, soothing and reassuring. “Did you see him after that?”   
  
    “No, I didn’t. I tried staying up, but I passed out. I woke up again, and he wasn’t there, so I called him - he picked up, but immediately hung up after that,” Hoseok explains. He lets Minhyuk guide him to the nearest couch, limping a little on his right leg as he does so, earning a furrowed look from the younger. "I don’t know where he is, what he’s doing, when or if he's ever coming back, and it’s scaring me to death.”   
  
    Minhyuk only shakes his head, squinting his eyes at Hoseok accusingly. “What’s wrong with your leg?”   
  
    Hoseok almost doesn’t notice until Minhyuk nudges his leg with his foot, drawing out a small hiss from him. he bites down on his lip, looking sheepish, as he says, “i might’ve hit my knee on the way out.” He rubs nervously at the nape of his neck, because he can just about feel Minhyuk’s frustration filling up the room, like liquid.   
  
    All he hears in response is an exasperated-sounding sigh, and then Minhyuk’s padding away into the kitchen, only to return back to Hoseok with a small ice-pack in hand, which he presses down onto Hoseok’s presumably bruised knee (a little too harshly maybe - it’s enough to have Hoseok wincing).   
  
    “Look, Hoseok, Kihyun’s just upset. He probably went over to his mom’s for the night,” the younger boy reassures, kneeling down onto the floor in front of Hoseok, keeping the ice-pack glued to his knee. neither of them care much for the patch of dampness stretching out over the material of Hoseok’s sweatpants, right under the perspiring cold-pack. “I’m sure he’s fine, okay? He’s an adult, and he can take care of himself. He’ll come back or call when he feels he’s ready.”   
  
    “I can’t believe this," Hoseok breathes, throws his head back onto the backrest of the couch.   
  
    So far, he’s driven his boyfriend into walking out on him twice, he still hasn’t proposed (the engagement ring has probably gone brittle by now), he’s apparently incapable of telling Kihyun he loves him and that all this is just one big, stupid mistake, and above all that, he’s supposedly broken his knee beyond repair, so proposing is going to be a breeze (that is, if he still has a boyfriend to propose to).   
  
    Minhyuk notices Hoseok’s uneasiness, and gently pats his good knee. “I’m sure it’ll be okay. He loves you, Hoseok.”   
  
    “Which is exactly why this is so hard for him - he loves me, but he probably thinks I don’t love him just as much, or enough to be able to spend the rest of my life with him.”   
  
    Retracting the ice-pack from Hoseok’s knee, Minhyuk folds his legs under him, opening his mouth to speak, but he’s cut short when they both hear two doors creaking open simultaneously.   
  
    Out walks a disheveled-looking Changkyun, hair mussed to the point where pieces of it are just randomly sticking out in all possible directions, and eyes droopy with sleep, though he’s no match for Hyungwon, who seems like he’s readopted the long-lasting effects of his hangover.   
  
   “What’s going on?” Changkyun half-yawns-half-says, rubbing at his puffy eyes with a balled fist - Kihyun would probably be squealing to wrap Changkyun up in blankets and feed him grapes if he were here.   
  
   “Kihyun’s gone,” Minhyuk answers when he sees Hoseok hunch himself over his knees, fastening his fingers in his already tangled hair.   
  
   “What did you do this time?” Hyungwon’s chides, his askance dripping mockery. He sits down on the coffee table, legs placed close enough for Minhyuk to lean his head onto.   
  
    The tall boy feels Changkyun, who is standing right next to him, elbow his shoulder disapprovingly. “Sorry,” he adds meekly. his voice sounds a little hoarser than before. “I'm being mean, aren’t I?”   
  
    With a flick of his wrist, Hoseok waves him off, dismissing his apology. “Don’t be sorry, I probably deserve it,” he laments. “I tried apologising - well, Kihyun apologised - and he was so nice about it, and I felt like crap, so I told him I'd be ready to do anything for him, and that I’d even marry him if I had to.”   
  
    Hyungwon seemingly chokes on nothing in particular (probably just the air, really). “If you had to?” he reiterates, his eyes going wide in incredulity. "You said you’d do it if you had to?”   
  
    “I didn’t realise how bad it sounded till he got mad,” Hoseok explains, letting himself recline back against the couch.   
  
    The taller boy looks as if he’s about to have an aneurysm. “How come you never realise till-” Changkyun drives an elbow into his shoulder yet again, just a little harder this time. Hyungwon clears his throat. “It’s just- I don’t understand,” he drawls, adding in all-too-dramatic hand gestures to emphasise. “You both obviously love each other and you want to be together. You both want the same things, so why can’t you just tell Kihyun all that, get over with it and propose the living bejesus out of that ring?”   
  
    Hoseok goes back to gripping his hair, only to earn a disapproving smack from Minhyuk. “I don’t know, it’s just so hard. I want it to be perfect. Kihyunnie deserves nothing short of perfect.”   
  
    “But is it really worth losing him?” Changkyun questions, sounding cautious, careful even, as if spewing careless words might set Hoseok off on the wrong foot, which isn’t completely untrue.   
  
    There’s a stretch of silence, not one of the three boys taking their eyes off Hoseok as he stares speculatively at the floor, his adam’s apple bobbing up and down in his throat as he gulps. “No.”   
  
    “Then I think we all know what comes next,” Changkyun pegs on.   
  
    All Hoseok can do is nod slowly, planting his palms on either side of him on the couch to get up, only to be pushed back down gently by Minhyuk.   
  
    "You should get some sleep first,” he instructs, looking quickly over his shoulder at Hyungwon, who promptly disappears into his and Minhyuk’s shared bedroom. “Try and relax, maybe go out for a walk in the morning after breakfast just to get your mind off things, okay?”   
  
    Hoseok nods again, looking inscrutable as Hyungwon returns back to the living room, a pillow tucked under his right arm, and two thin, woollen blankets draped over the other one.   
  
    Minhyuk takes the three bedding items from his boyfriend, placing the pillow on one end of the couch Hoseok is seated on. He motions for the older boy to lie down, which he does promptly, permissibly allowing Minhyuk to wrap the two blankets around him, and give his shoulder a soft squeeze before retiring into his room with Hyungwon.   
  
    Changkyun follows suit, only after reaching for Hoseok’s hand, and pressing softly until the latter manages to smile at him weakly.    
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
    “I’M NOT EATING THIS.”   
  
    Hoseok’s nose is scrunched up in utter distaste, as he eyes the orange ceramic bowl placed in front of him. It’s over half-full with what Hyungwon claims is porridge, but it looks too gooey and a whole shade of brown too dark to suffice.   
  
    In all honesty, Hoseok would pick Minhyuk’s risk-induced cooking over Hyungwon’s in a heartbeat. Unfortunately, being a nurse calls for reporting to work early in the morning (Hoseok knows quite well, considering his own boyfriend is a nurse, too), which means he isn’t around to make breakfast, so poor Changkyun and Hoseok had to settle for Hyungwon’s food.   
  
    Hyungwon glares at him, one hand rested on his hip, and the other occupied by a small, wooden spoon. “Are you this picky and whiny with Kihyun?” he asks, looking way more offended than what is perhaps necessary.   
  
    Changkyun can only laugh softly behind his hand, sitting next to Hoseok at the table. He’s pushing around pieces of dry cereal in his bowl with a teaspoon, keeping his eyes fixed on his breakfast, as havoc unfurls around him.   
  
    “None of Kihyun’s food looks this questionable,” Hoseok answers, dropping his gaze down to his porridge again. Hyungwon scoffs. “And anyway, he’s a way better cook than you’ll ever be.”   
  
    Hoseok didn’t intend on feeling low this morning - he wanted to, as Minhyuk had said, keep his mind off all that had happened - but he finds himself reminiscing watching Kihyun chop up ingredients, and mix them up with several other condiments, humming contently to himself, and slapping away Hoseok’s hand when he reaches to shove an olive or something in his mouth.   
  
    In other words, he just misses Kihyun. He misses him so very much.   
  
    Changkyun probably took notice of Hoseok’s downcast, because now he’s rubbing soothing, reassuring circles onto his back, lips pressed into a fine line, not exactly a smile, but close.   
  
    Hyungwon pulls a chair out for himself, its pegs screeching across the wooden flooring, undoing his apron beforehand and tossing in onto the table. Changkyun lets out somewhat of a yelp when the piece of overwear comes in close proximity to his cereal bowl.   
  
    “Well, you have to eat something,” the tall boy exhorts, arms folded over his chest assertively. “You can’t stay hungry.”   
  
    “I’m twenty-six, Hyungwon, I can do what I want,” Hoseok answers, earning a well-deserved eye roll from Hyungwon, as he picks himself up off his seat, porridge bowl in hand, and shuffles over to the sink, his limp still prominently stamped into his stride - good as new, almost.   
  
    He grabs a piece of fruit - a soft, seemingly ripe peach is his choice - from a nearby fruit bowl, and places his cereal bowl on the countertop.   
  
    He flashes the sunset-orange nectarine in Hyungwon’s face. “Happy?”   
  
    “Oh, yes, you’ve made my day," Hyungwon chirps, giving Hoseok the best heart-eyes, as Minhyuk likes to call them, he can manage, topped off with a big grin - his entire facade makes Hoseok’s skin crawl, and he doesn’t hesitate to show his discomfort.   
  
    Changkyun, after tossing two to three pieces of cereal in his mouth, takes a meditative sip of his orange juice. “Did you try calling Kihyunnie-hyung again?”   
  
    Strands of Hoseok’s bed-hair flop around his eyes, brushing his skin lightly, as he shakes his head, trying to chew the bite of peach in his mouth as quickly as he can. “Not after the first time, no,” he responds, cheeks still puffed with fruit. "he hung up right away, so I figured if he wanted to talk, he’d call himself.”   
  
    Changkyun nods comprehendingly, gulping down the few centimetres of juice left in his mug. “Yeah, okay, that’s fair.”   
  
    Hoseok returns back to his seat, angling himself so he faces Changkyun more than he does Hyungwon, who’s busied himself with picking at the frayed hem of his apron - Minhyuk wouldn’t be pleased.   
  
    “Do you have class today?” the older asks, eyeing the soft spots on the peach that are beginning to bruise under the pressure of his fingers.   
  
   “Not today.”   
  
    “So I thought we’d have lunch at that new sushi place,” Hyungwon adds. he always prided himself in being adventurous enough to try out every sushi-centric joint that opens up. “Minnie wanted me to go grocery shopping anyway. You wanna tag along?”   
  
    Hyungwon and Changkyun both give hopeful looks to Hoseok now, looking like two very attention-hungry puppies. Hoseok can’t help but laugh a little. “It’s a great offer, really, but I think I'd rather be alone for a while. Maybe I'll go out for a walk, like Minhyuk suggested.”   
  
    Changkyun’s expression switches to showcasing pure concern. “With that knee?” he asks, eyeing Hoseok’s leg. “Wouldn’t it be better if you went out with us? Just in case, you know?”   
  
    Hoseok just laughs again, a little more heartily this time - it’s a good change, the best, if Changkyun could say so himself (Hyungwon, too, even if he’d never admit it). The younger feels even more mirthful when Hoseok reaches to tousle his soft hair. “I can manage. You just worry about hearing Hyungwon rant on nonsensically about how bad the sushi is at lunch.”   
  
    Hyungwon’s eyebrows knit themselves together. “Excuse me, I’m not nonsensical, just passionate.”   
  
    The other two boys share similar glances, grinning thinly as if they’re trying so hard not to smile. Licking some of the trickling peach nectar off his fingers, Hoseok pads over to the living area to grab his shoes. He pulls them on, struggling a little at first, because they’re those heavy winter boots of his, and also, his knee keeps giving out under him.   
  
    Mayne he should have agreed to go out with Changkyun and Hyungwon instead.   
  
  


* * *

 

  
  
    HOSEOK HADN’T EXPECTED TO come back to his (and Kihyun’s) apartment and find anything out of the ordinary - ‘ordinary’ being anything aside from quiet, empty, and vacant.   
  
    But he doesn’t know what to think when he walks in to find the whole place adorned with candles, every single one they’ve ever owned (most of which Hoseok doesn’t even remember having or purchasing), filling up the area with the most somber, intimate, orange glow.   
  
    He’s so knocked off his own feet - almost literally, because taking a walk didn’t really help out much with his damaged knee - that he almost doesn’t notice Kihyun sitting folded onto his favourite loveseat, his round, thin reading glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. He’s clad in a pair of boxers, and one of Hoseok’s hoodies.   
  
    It’s much too big on him, hanging loosely over his willowy frame, the sleeves inching down past his fingertips, but all Hoseok can think about how it’s his hoodie, and how Kihyun is wearing it.   
  
    He looks so cozy, so very soft, and sweet, like a little mouse, lovable, too, in this moment. All Hoseok wants is to shuffle over to Kihyun, lift up the hem of his hoodie to tuck his face under, and pepper his belly with more kisses than he can count (Hoseok can hardly believe any of this is real, though; the kisses, and spoiling could always come later).   
  
    Kihyun isn’t packing up all his stuff, like Hoseok thought he would be if he were to come back, and he isn’t leaving for good, either. Instead, he’s sitting bundled up in a loveseat, arms wrapped tightly around his knees to hug them closer to his chest, something he always did when he was feeling cold, anxious, or just a little fidgety (he always tried limiting his movements whenever he felt sort of shifty).   
  
    It’s almost been a minute since Hoseok walked into the apartment, but he still can’t gather his thoughts well enough to form a sentence.   
  
    “Kihyunnie?” he finally asks, his voice, as soft as it is, cracking on the second syllable.   
  
    The brunette looks up incredulously upon hearing his name, lips curling into an ardent smile as soon as he sees Hoseok, and his eyes forming small, pretty crescents.   
  
   “Hey," he murmurs, stumbling over his feet as he tries to stand up. Hoseok staggers forward to hold him, but Kihyun is able to regain his balance before he plummets to the ground.   
  
    Hoseok still looks stupefied, mouth agape and eyes darting from Kihyun’s eyes, to his mouth, torso, legs, just trying to take him in, and accept that he’s here, really, really here. “What-”   
  
   “Changkyunnie called,” Kihyun interjects when he pinpoints Hoseok’s astonishment. “Sometime near lunch. He told me everything.”   
  
    A wave of solace washes over Hoseok. Kihyun watches fondly as his eyes flutter in nothing but adamant relief, and he cups Hoseok’s god-lovely face so, so tenderly, and softly, as if he’s pouring all his love into the gesture, running a soothing thumb over his cheekbone repeatedly.   
  
    Hoseok leans into the touch, letting Kihyun pull him closer, so that he’s just a few inches away from his mouth, their noses just barely brushing.   
  
    “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I'm so sorry,” he breathes, clamping a hand over Kihyun’s and turning his head enough to press a kiss onto his palm. “I didn’t mean anything I said to you about us, about commitment, or marriage. Kiki,” he looks deep into Kihyun’s eyes, watching his face soften visibly at hearing the nickname leave Hoseok’s lips again after so long. “I love you, I love you so much that it’s stupid, and I don’t want anything more than to be able to spend the rest of my life with you. I wanna marry you, Kiki," he finishes with utmost certainty, and it makes Kihyun’s belly swoop with warm delight.   
  
    Kihyun only lets out a soft sob, followed quickly by a sniffle as Hoseok leans down to knock their foreheads together, his hands finding their way down to Kihyun’s waist to pull him even closer until they’re pressed flush together.   
  
    It takes him a while, because he’s so lost in the feeling of holding Kihyun again after what felt like ages, but Hoseok eventually kisses Kihyun’s cheek, his skin warm, and plump under Hoseok’s lips - God, he missed Kihyun; he missed his soft baby so, so much.   
  
    "I'm gonna do it,” he mumbles against his lips, the brush of skin on skin almost making Kihyun giggle. “I’m gonna do the thing.”   
  
    “The thing,” Kihyun repeats, smiling tightly as if he’s desperately trying not to laugh, but at the same time, he looks like he’s about to start bawling. “Oh, my God, okay, do the thing.”   
  
    Hoseok draws away just a little, keeping his eyes fixed on Kihyun as he does so, but just as he’s about to drop down to his knee, a racking pang unravels in his bruised joint, reminding him so very unpleasantly of the moment he actually realised kneeling wouldn’t be much of an option anymore.   
  
    ‘Oh, fuck it, whatever,’ is all he thinks to himself before straightening up, and giving Kihyun a beaming smile, one that’s all toothy and gummy, because it probably looks like he’s backing out again, and that’s the last thing he wants Kihyun to think he’s doing.   
  
    “Hoseok-”   
  
    “One second, baby,” the other cuts in. He places his hands on Kihyun’s waist, gripping tightly, and picks him up swiftly, settling Kihyun down onto the kitchen countertop. Hoseok then situates himself between Kihyun’s dangling legs, hands still resting gently on his hips, as he looks up at him, like he’s his whole world (and he is).   
  
    It all makes Kihyun feel so warm, and fuzzy, and honestly, he’d prefer this over a normal ‘get-down-on-one-knee’ proposal anyday.   
  
    Hoseok opens his mouth to speak, to actually jabber out the entire script he’d been practising for months, but one look into Kihyun’s pretty, pretty, fucking pretty, eyes, and he starts sobbing.   
  
    "Wait,” he huffs, dropping his head down a little. “I can do this.”   
  
    Kihyun can only half-giggle and half-sob in response, his tiny hands balled up into adorable, little fists around the material of Hoseok’s thick sweater, right over his shoulders.   
  
    After a few more sobs, a couple of sniffles, and a breathy laugh, Hoseok looks back up at his boyfriend, his eyes glossy and lips curled into a smile. He feels a little lightheaded at how breathtakingly beautiful Kihyun looks — even with his damp, tear-streaked cheeks, wet lashes, and puffy, slightly red, eyes, Kihyun still looks ethereal and just as otherworldly as ever.   
  
    Pressing a quick kiss to his collarbone, Hoseok finally starts, "Kiki, in all my life, I never once believed in marriage. I never thought it was a real thing, it always seemed so superficial and empty-shell to me, and I always looked at my parents and thought, ‘God, I don’t ever want this’.”   
  
    “But then you came along, kind of showed me what love really feels like - what being in love feels like,” he continues, trailing one of his hands up to Kihyun’s face, brushing stray strands of his hair away from teary eyes. “And the first, most intimate thing I felt when I was with you was something around the lines of, ‘I’m going to put a ring on it - on this, us - and I’m going to make him mine’."   
  
    “Really?” Kihyun’s doesn’t like how breathy he sounds, compared to Hoseok’s smooth, deep voice, but he can’t help it, not when he’s sobbing, giggling, and hiccuping at the same time through that huge smile on his face.    
  
    "Yeah." Hoseok nods, sniffling and smiling, using up all his energy to not break out into loud sobs, because this is something he’s been waiting for for so long (he almost messed it up twice, too) - the crying can come later. “I remember it was after graduation, a little before you got a job at the hospital, we were at Hyunwoo’s engagement party, and you were standing out on the balcony, laughing into Hyungwon’s shoulder at something stupid Minhyuk had said. You looked so perfect - not that I haven’t seen you laugh before - but it was then that I just knew. I knew you were the one,  the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with.”    
  
    Kihyun looks like he’s fighting back another sob, biting down on his lip and sucking it in till the seam.    
  
    "That one time we broke up or took a break - whatever you wanna call it - it was just a two-week thing, but I was miserable. You were staying over at Hyungwon’s, and I would spend every night crying myself to sleep, because I thought I’d lost you for good, but then you came back with your hair dyed the lightest shade of strawberry pink.”   
  
    Instead of letting out a cry this time, Kihyun laughs, a sound that makes Hoseok feel so warm, and so, so nice. “That wasn’t the best decision,” the brunette admits. “It wasn’t a good time.”   
  
    Leaning closer just a bit, Hoseok kisses the shell of Kihyun’s ear, grinning when Kihyun squirms in his grasp. “You literally threw yourself at me and started crying. I really didn’t know what to think or do, I was just so happy. That was when I realised how much I needed you in my life, but this time, when you walked out the diner and then stormed out yesterday, I understood how much I truly want to be with you - how much I want to spend my whole life with you - and how unhappy and empty I'd feel without you being around.”   
  
    Kihyun goes back to whimpering again. “You might just kill me if you don’t stop.”   
  
    "You really want me to stop now?”   
  
    "No,” Kihyun acknowledges, prying one hand off Hoseok’s shoulder to wipe his cheeks dry with balled fists - it doesn’t help much. “You’re right, just-“   
  
    When he reverts to sobbing this time, Hoseok doesn’t think twice before fondly cupping Kihyun’s wet face, and kissing his tears away before pressing his lips to both his eyes, just to tell him it’s all okay, and that he would be a sobbing mess himself if he wasn’t fighting it off so much just to be able to say all this to him.   
  
    With Kihyun’s face still in his hands, Hoseok continues, “You’ve given me three perfect, amazing years, Kiki - seven, if you count the four years we were friends in university - and I don’t think I could ever love anyone as much as I love you.”   
  
    He draws his hands away, reaching down into the pocket of his coat to fish out the box (he’s beyond glad he decided to shove the ring in his coat after the first time Kihyun walked out on him, because pulling it out from the couch wouldn’t be the easiest thing to do right now).   
  
    Hoseok takes Kihyun’s hand within his own, softly, as if the tiniest bit of rough-handling would break him, and slips the ring onto his dainty finger. It looks so much better on him than Hoseok thought, his heart swelling in his chest at the sight - he can’t believe this is happening, really, really happening.   
  
    “Kiki,  _ baby _ ." Looking up at Kihyun, straight into his glassy eyes, Hoseok ultimately lets a sob escape his lips. “Will you marry me?”   
  
    Kihyun takes a few seconds, letting a couple tears roll down the sides of his face. “Yes, oh, my God, yes.”   
  
    They both stare at each other for a while, crying, laughing, smiling bigger than they’ve probably ever smiled before, but then Hoseok finally tugs Kihyun closer, his arms winding around his waist, pulling him in for a slow, but all the while passionate, kiss.   
  
    Just like every kiss they’ve ever shared, this one has Kihyun feeling a little faint, as if Hoseok has sucked the air right out of him, and for the longest time, it’s just them, the world halted around them. All Kihyun knows is Hoseok, and that Hoseok’s lips are warm, soft, and so, so smooth.   
  
    He feels giddy, woozy even, because it’s all so perfect.   
  
    "Can we come in already? We’re dying out here!” someone calls from the hall, causing Kihyun to pull away from Hoseok’s mouth, a big, sloppy grin contained poorly on his face. They don’t need any sort of verification to tell it’s Minhyuk - they just know anyway.   
  
    “Yes!” he answers, gently pushing Hoseok back a little so he can hop off the countertop, holding onto Hoseok’s shoulders as he does so. “Come in, come in.”   
  
    The door swings open not even half-a-second later, and in tumbles Minhyuk, who is ecstatic as ever, eyes twinkling with uncontainable mirth and his mouth curved into a wide smile. Hyungwon and Changkyun trail closely behind him, and all three of them flock around Kihyun and Hoseok, Minhyuk grabbing onto Kihyun’s hand and crying over how pretty the ring is.   
  
    (Kihyun makes a mental note to double-check if their door and all the windows are closed at night, because he doesn’t want to wake up at three in the morning to find Minhyuk struggling to pry off his engagement ring.)   
  
    While Minhyuk squeals and screams, Hyungwon doesn’t say much, he just wraps an arm around Kihyun’s shoulders, pulling him close enough to hug him and kiss the top of his head. he says something around the lines of, “I’m so happy for you, Kihyunnie,” but neither Kihyun, nor Hoseok can be a hundred-percent sure.   
  
    “They do say ‘third time’s the charm’,” Hyungwon muses, grinning teasingly at Hoseok, who just squints his eyes at the tall boy.   
  
    Kihyun smacks Hyungwon’s leg with his foot, still in mid-embrace with Changkyun, who rose up to the occasion and enveloped Kihyun in a hug as soon as Hyungwon had stepped away. “Oh, stop being such a bitch," he says, earning a soft, slightly repressed, chuckle from Minhyuk.   
  
    Kihyun is still petting Changkyun’s hair, their heads nuzzled together, when he feels a hand wrap around his wrist, pulling him away and into warm, familiar arms. Hoseok angles Kihyun in a way that lets him trail his hands up and down his back, tracing over the knobs of his spine, and playfully squeezing his waist, all the while kissing him slow and soft.   
  
    Neither of them care much for how red in the face Changkyun is, or Minhyuk and Hyungwon’s snarky, teasing comments, especially not when Hoseok draws away, only to snuggle his face into the side of Kihyun’s neck, pressing soft kisses all over.   
  
    Kihyun looks like a lovesick high-schooler through it all, one hand wound in Hoseok’s mussed up hair, and the other draped over his back, and Minhyuk figures he might as well just have hearts popping out of his eyes.   
  
    "Oh, God." Minhyuk sounds exasperated, and Hoseok can tell from his voice that he’s probably either hugging Hyungwon right now, or being back-hugged by him. “Does this mean you two are gonna be sickeningly lovey-dovey now? You know, now that you’re engaged and to-be-wed.”   
  
    Hyungwon scoffs. “They’re always sickeningly lovey-dovey, Minnie.”   
  
    Turning his head to glare at Hyungwon, Kihyun tries his level best to seem vexed, but it doesn’t work out, not with that enormous grin on his face. “Shut up, I'm happy.”   
  
    Hoseok promptly lifts his head up off Kihyun’s chest, and Kihyun takes the opportunity to take Hoseok’s dazzling face in his hands, looking at him so fondly. “You are?” the older asks, sounding a little too astounded for Kihyun’s liking.   
  
    "Yeah,” Kihyun huffs out with a soft chuckle, nodding his head slightly. “My boyfriend asked me to marry him, I’m gonna get to plan a wedding, I’m gonna  _ have _ a wedding, so of course I’m happy.” He brings Hoseok’s face closer to kiss his somewhat agape mouth. “You make me happy.”   
  
    A wedding, Hoseok thinks. He feels exultant at the mere prospect of picking out centrepiece-flowers, sorting out the food for the event, mapping out guest locations, arguing over what band to hire, and giving months to planning out the joyous occasion - it’s something he’ll get to do with Kihyun, and that’s what makes him feel so elated.   
  
    He swoops down to kiss Kihyun’s lips once more. “You make me happier.”   


**Author's Note:**

> sighhhhhhs hoseok is such a dummy asdfhkldjs but he's kihyun's dummy, so it's okay huhu 
> 
> come find me on [twitter](https://twitter.com/fuzzykiho)  
> and [cc](https://curiouscat.me/fuzzykiho) !!!!!!


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